Basic Drim Relationship Pattern Concepts

1. Relationship is about the mutual satisfaction of respective and shared needs and aspirations.
2. The type, nature and depth of the relationship is determined by:
   1. The nature of the respective and shared needs and abilities
   2. The nature and level of respective skills, abilities and gifting and
   3. The levels of mutual respect, commitment and communication and
   4. The respective abilities to resolve mistakes, miscommunication amd misunderstandings that are sure to arise.
3. We need to be relatable, good at creating synergy and good at dealing with difficult people.

A simple set of dramatic improvement patterns and techniques for forging synergy (2 + 2 =5 ) from dysergy (2 + 2 = 4) and antergy (2 + 2 = 3).

The opportunities for synergy - even in personal task-management, never mind in our interaction with other people and between product and service features - are immense: but we seldom see them.

There's a good reason for this and a simple way to overcome it.

How To Be Easy To Get On With

1. Hygiene
2. Appearance
3. Mindset
4. Respect
5. Empathy
6. Civility
7. Generosity

How To Get On With Easy People

1. Rapport
2. Synergy
3. Meeing people where they're at
4. Conflict Resolution
5. FAE: LUR
6. Deliberate Synergy
7. Reciprocity
8. Family Cultures

How To Get On With Difficult People

1. Narcissist
2. Psychopath
3. Bully
4. Know-It-All
5. Militant Ignoramus
6. Manipulator
7. Gaslighting
8. https://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2016/06/20-diversion-tactics-highly-manipulative-narcissists-sociopaths-and-psychopaths-use-to-silence-you/4/

Golden Assumption

Recognise that most interpersonal conflict and disagreement arises from misalignment, miscommunication, misconstruing, misinterpreting and mistakes and instead of assuming mal-intent, assume that the other person wants what you want and that it only seesm unreasonable, because you don't understand where they're coming from.

Xplor

Instead of using open or closed questions, Xplor uses multiple-choice questions, with the option for the interviewee to add their own option or indicate that it's none of the proffered options.

Asking multiple choice plus add your own option questions - and then playing back their own words and repeating the cycle until they agree with the wording - before translating into my own words, brings me to understand their position to both of our satisfaction - before repeating the process for my position.

WWMMDT

The Fundamental Attribution Error - attributing motive, intent and inferiority to other people's bad behaviour, but circumstances to our own - is one of the biggest and most damaging cognitive biases we face.

WWMMDT ("Wimditty") is an acronym to remind us to ask, "What would make me do that?" - if I was being reasonable and decent.

It's astounding how often, we find that those same extreme conditions that would bring us to behave sub-optimally, exist in their situation.

Appropriate Response

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