Integration Synergy

Integration synergy results when two things are combined to secure better features or benefits than either of them could achieve independently.

Common forms of integration synergy include:

1. Structural synergy.
2. Physical sroperty synergy.
3. Chemical property synergy.
4. Software and hardware synergy.
5. Energy synergy/Momentum synergy.

Relationship Synergy

The primary justification for relationships is mutual need and aspiration satisfaction.

The objective is for the interaction to generate more value than the netting of give-and-take, because:

1. The cost of contribution for each party is lower than the benefit received - because each party gives from abundance (their gifting) and receives in areas of scarcity (their critical need).
2. The accelerated evolution of collaboration accelerates the creation of value.  

The Synergy Opportunity Indicators

1. Similarity|Difference.
2. Compatibility|Incompatibility.
3. Commonality|Diversity.
4. Strengths|Weaknesses.
5. Supporting|Opposing Forces.
6. Resource Contention.
7. Animosity|Attraction.
8. Conflicting Purposes.
9. Conflicting Processes/Methods.

Golden Assumption

Recognise that most interpersonal conflict and disagreement arises from misalignment, miscommunication, misconstruing, misinterpreting and mistakes and instead of assuming mal-intent, assume that the other person wants what you want and that they only seem unreasonable, because you don't understand where they're coming from or going to.

Xplor

Instead of using open or closed questions, Xplor uses multiple-choice questions, with the option for the interviewee to add their own option or indicate that it's none of the proffered options.

Asking multiple choice plus add-your-own option questions - and then playing back their own words and repeating the cycle until they agree with the wording - before translating into my own words, brings me to understand their position to both of our satisfaction - before repeating the process for my position.

WWMMDT

The Fundamental Attribution Error - attributing motive, intent and inferiority to other people's bad behaviour, but circumstances to our own - is one of the biggest and most damaging cognitive biases we face.

WWMMDT ("Wimditty") is an acronym to remind us to ask, "What would make me do that?" - if I was being reasonable and decent.

It's astounding how often we find that those same extreme conditions that would bring us to behave sub-optimally, exist in their situation.

Engage-As-If

Engage, respond and interact with people as if each of you were the person you would want to be in the situation - even if neither of you is quite there (yet).

It shapes both people's behaviour, evoking your better selves and the other person's response & perception!

When you're being bullied or abused by someone, work out how you'd like them to interact.  Then practise responding to them as you would if they'd interacted in this ideal way (although they haven't).  The cognitive dissonance nearly always brings them to meekly follow your lead!

The Appropriate Response Technique

The best way to address someone else's unrelenting inappropriate behaviour is neither to ignore it nor to reciprocate in kind, but to respond appropriately, in order to key into the sociopathic, psychopathic and narcissistic spectrum disorders.

We have a great tendency to either assume egregious intent and retaliate punitively (which is inconsistent with our better nature) or to play the martyr or try to engender reciprocal behaviour.

Neither of these work with these disorders but a carefully considered appropriate response does.

LOAD (Less Of A Dick/Douche)

The LOAD Solution is a simple diagnostic and intervention framework for bad behaviour.

It comprises a list of common forms, symptoms and triggers of dickish behaviour and provides different techniques and mechanisms for replacing them with more kind, respectful and attractive behaviours.

Like the Impact Revolution, it encourages daily, weekly and monthly review sessions and accompanying approaches in addition to situational tools and techniques.

Conflict Resolver

There are extremely few conflicts that can't be resolved beneficially to both drivers.

Instead of seeking the best Compromise between Conflicting options, identify and validate the drivers behind those Options and break (rather than find the best Compromise to) the Conflict, by looking for ways in which each driver can be advantaged rather than disadvantaged by the satisfaction of the other.

It's even easier if you have a set of standard breakthrough resolution options to choose from.